


Without You

by CometEclipse



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 16:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6159961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CometEclipse/pseuds/CometEclipse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard takes her last steps, finally completing her impossible mission. But all she could think about was the consequences of her actions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without You

So this was it. The end of the line.

Shepard clutched her side, holding her wound. She shuffled forward, pain radiating from everywhere; she didn’t even know where she hurt anymore. Blood dripped to the floor as she pushed onward. 

She had to keep going. Just one more thing to do. And then it would be over.

Her vision blurred as liquid stung her eyes, and she lifted the back of her hand to wipe away the obstruction. Damn it; she never cried.

She clenched her teeth, fighting the tightness of her throat, fighting against the sobs that tore at her chest. Her breathing hitched as she tried to draw breath, something stabbing inside each time she did. 

She stopped applying pressure to the open gash on her side, using both hands to training her weapon on the cylinder before her instead. Her hands trembled, her vision shot to shit. Breathing irregularly, she pressed her lips together, and pulled the trigger.

Each retort felt like the shots were hitting her heart. God, she was killing Edi. Joker would be devastated. And Legion’s sacrifice to save the Geth? She was now wasting it. Tears rolled down her cheeks, as the truth of her choice slammed home. She had helped the race gain consciousness, had worked so passionately to help them to decide their own fate. The Geth and the Quarians were at peace, prosperity would have followed their cooperation, she was sure of it. And yet here she was, killing them all.

A wave of dizziness threatened, but she kept shooting.

God, Garrus. She was leaving him. She knew she wasn’t getting out of this. The stabbing pain from under her skin each time she took a short, halting breath told her how close she was to it already. Her body was cold, blood drenching her clothes all down her side, clinging to her skin. Numbness crept through her limbs, but somehow she kept moving and shooting.

Did he still live? Had she taken too long, made here it too late?

Would he hate her for leaving him? She shook at the thought, the pain too great to contemplate. 

Would he already be waiting for her at that bar? Would they figure out the heaven thing together?

It would have been heaven to retire to a tropical paradise with Garrus. Her best friend, her partner, her soulmate. 

Or would she be up there all alone, looking down on her Turian as he continued on with his life? Would he fall in love again? She flinched and shied away from the idea. She wanted him to be happy; she just couldn’t contemplate the thought of him with someone else.

Perhaps he would still adopt a little Krogan baby, raise it himself. A vision of Garrus holding a solid round bundle blanketed her wavering vision. More tears slipped down her cheeks, a pained smile twisting her lips. The vision changed to a baby throwing food at her exasperated love, then a vision of Garrus head-butting the Krogan toddler, then her Vakarian being used as a ladder for a very heavy child. Of the two of them kneeling before a memorial, Garrus in pain as he traced the letters etched into the stone, the little one solemn as they contemplated the woman they had never known.

There was no Shepard without Vakarian.

God, she should have told him she loved him more. Kissed him more. Held him longer. Memories flashed as she continued to fire her gun. Of dancing with him, lying in bed entwined together, fighting back to back. Standing tucked against his front with his arms around her as they watched the lights of the Citadel from their apartment windows. How he looked at her each time he said he loved her. Her brave, scarred, Archangel. 

The sound of cracking shattered the last of her illusions. Her death toll.

Shepard closed her lids, her eyes already dark. With one last gulp, she steeled herself.

“Garrus, I love you,” she whispered, her voice weak, barely audible.

Then she pulled the trigger for the last time.

The cylinder shattered, explosions bursting forth. 

And the Universe changed forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I made myself tear up with this. I loved my Shepard and Garrus together, and the ending of this game just tore me apart. This is what I imagined was going through my Shepard's head as she was taking those last few steps. 
> 
> Of course... she took a breath. Perhaps there is more after all.


End file.
